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Turns out the gift my Uncle Joe gave me, this old book, is actually "The Book," some sort of time warping machine. We opened it up and — bam! — we're being threatened by Blackbeard.
You know Blackbeard, right?
He's that pirate from the early 1700s.
He's that fashion model with the huge beard.
He's that pirate from the early 1900s.
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